In the spring of 2014 I found out I was pregnant with twins and started documenting my journey in a weekly post. I will be periodically posting these past writings, starting from the beginning. This was written Oct 23, 2014.
Since the babies have been born, my life has revolved around them but more specifically it has revolved around breastfeeding them. The books describe breastfeeding as an instinctual ability that babies have and while that may be true, breathing is also a basic instinct we can sometimes forget to do. It’s not as easy as one might think.
I’ve been feeding Karson and Lucy every two hours although often times the demand is more frequent. I tandem feed them, together, at the same time in a position called the “double football hold.” If I fed them separately, I’d never get a break. This means when one wants to eat, the other gets to eat also, even if that means waking them from a peaceful slumber.
We’ve gotten into a good rhythm but it has taken A LOT of patience. During the learning curve, Lucy would grab hold like she was taking a bite of a snickers bar while Karson would appear to be bobbing for apples, always looking disappointed that there were in fact no apples to be found.
Because they eat so often, at night, by the time we are able to get them down and asleep (if at all) it’s time for them to wake and eat again. Thus, I’ve resigned to sleeping at my “milking station” on the couch with my dozen pillows (including my TwinZ pillow). We started calling it my “flotilla.” Nate comes and checks on me now and then, refills my water and scoops up the babies to burp them and change their diapers while I sneak away to use the restroom or stretch my legs.
I feel like my body has been hijacked and I’m being held hostage. I feel like I never get a break, or at least a break long enough to get anything accomplished. But it’s also a very intimate time I get to spend with our babies in a time that I’m constantly reminding myself is fleeting. I love seeing their little eyes looking up at me while I nurse, then flutter shut as they space out into milk-land. I love when they surrender and drop their little, heavy heads to sleep, their warm bodies perfectly nuzzled into mine. They sleep best here with me and while I look forward to the day I can return to my bed, we all seem to get the most sleep this way.
Even still, here in baby land I’m running on maybe three hours of sleep a night and I don’t think I’ll be leaving the house much anytime soon. But we’re managing and for now I think that’s just fine.